I would like to break in this blog with a special blog report of an important time in my life of which I feel compelled to blog about….you will be return to the normal blog at the conclusion of this blog.
As I sit here at work just hours from completing my term as Commander in Chief for the Indiana Consistory for the Scottish Rite Valley of Indianapolis. I have taken some time to reflect not only on my year but on my time spent as an officer. Now I assume this is a natural process that most people go through at times like this. Someone once told me as I started this journey that is was going to be the best times of my life. I’m not sure I would say I have had that experience. Please don’t take me wrong there have been a lot of very good and positive things that have happened over the last several years. I was fortunate enough to play the part of George Washington in one of our more popular degrees. I have met and become friends with people that I hope will be in my life for years to come. I have also learned more about myself over the last few years and that I think is the greatest gift. I have learned that I have always been a Mason in my hart. No membership card I can carry will ever take that from me. I have always tried to live my life in a positive manner and give back as I could. I have also seen the negative in some people that I have been associated with. It’s been very disappointing seeing the actions some people take all a while standing on a soapbox telling everyone how they are so good and you are all wrong. The word hypocrite comes to mind. For the longest time it left a bad taste in my mouth and I found myself becoming very dissatisfied with the entire fraternity. Many times I would lay awake in bed and agonize over whether I wanted to even be associated with these people. But I made a commitment and I wanted to live up to it. It was hard at times to work with people who I know didn’t support me or even like me but pretended to in my presence. Who I knew behind my back talked about me in I’m sure not the most flattering manner. Again I think I learned more about myself through all of this. I found that I will never be able to change the mind of some people even though those people never took the time to even get to know me at all. I learned that I am a reformer type of a person. I seem to look at trying to make things better and “fix” that which is broken or wrong. I think I learned the hard way that some people not only don’t want things to change but the reason they don’t want change is so they can gripe about it. I also learned that change is really scary to some people. I’m not sure why but it sure seems to scare them! Also some people want to make change just for the sake of change, which to me is worse than not changing! But that’s just my opinion. I’m thankful that I have family and friends that I can talk to about these things and I owe them a debt of gratitude for talking me in off the ledge several times.
Someone once told me that if you didn’t make some mistakes you were not trying hard enough. Well I must have REALLY tried pretty hard then because I have made some good ones! I have said some things that I would love to be able to take back but as we all know once said they can’t ever be taken back. Try to learn from me, think before you speak! Plus not everyone may share your opinion and those who take offense and never tell you they just sulk and let it fester without trying to make it right with you. But I learned I can’t help that some people do that, if you cant be a man enough to disagree and be ok with that then you have the problem not me. I have no problems disagreeing with some and still respecting them as a person. Not everyone does….
Someone once told me that the higher you go in a Masonic organization the more UN-Masonic people tend to be. Enough said.
Now that it is all over and I look to a future of less involvement with the fraternity I do have some regrets. I wish we could have done more with membership, we seem to be on a good trend now, I just hope its not to late. I know this blog may be taken wrong by some people and for that I am truly sorry. If you have questions please feel free to look me up and we can talk for hours sharing thoughts on it all…if you really care to know them! Some like to talk but they never take the time to ask your opinion. Do they just assume yours is the same or do they just not care to hear it?
I do want to clarify one important part of this blog. I do believe in what the fraternity has to offer men and I do think I am a better person for joining. I feel that is the whole point of the fraternity. It should be a journey of self reflection for improving yourself as a person. And for that it has been a huge success! I am thankful for that.