Thursday, March 31, 2011

Life Lessons

It’s been a long time since I have taken the time to sit down and write a new blog, but it was time I did. Since my last blog over 3 years ago a lot has happened. I had a surgery that took longer to recover from than anyone would have guessed and my son has gotten older and we now have a daughter as well. Those of course are just the highlights….

I have had not had the chance to play golf as much as I would have liked with all that’s happened, but I have managed to make it out to several charity events that I normally play in. I do always enjoy these events for many reasons. First of course is the charity they help with and I get to play golf and most of the time I get some quality time with my father and what better way to spend time with your family but on a golf course. The times we spend on the golf course will no doubt be cherished memories for both of us. I hate to say it aloud fearing it will now go in the opposite direction, but my golf game has gotten a lot better in several areas but has taken some bad turns in others. I’m sure if you’re a golfer you know exactly what I mean.

As my son gets older, (he is now 4 and we are getting him prepared for preschool), and I am doing my best at teaching life lessons to him but never seem to come up with the right words to show him why he should or should not be doing something. It’s like pulling out a pitching wedge with 120 yards to the pin and I visualizing the swing, the path of the ball and it one hoping up close to the hole. But what really happens is I chunk it and it goes about 80 yards and comes up horribly short! I mean I think what I am going to say will somehow be so profound that I can see it in his eyes that he really gets it! As parents we all want to teach our children the life lessons we have learned the hard way to help them avoid making the same mistakes we have made. I try to create times where he and I are alone and we can talk about the day and how things affected him and how well or bad he handled his situations he found himself in. But what I would really like to teach him is how to avoid those situations altogether. So once again I fell back on the game of golf and tried to teach him some course management. At four he doesn’t yet understand that when daddy has a narrow fairway and it’s really important to keep it in the short grass that its not always the best decision to pull out the driver. Yeah sure there is always a part of all men to get out the big dog and let it eat! But even though its your first impulse its not always the best or correct decision. No one hits the fairway each time with driver. The best players in the world hope to be 80% at best. So that means 20% of the time they don’t make it. So how do we cut that percentage down a little more to like 5%? Well take out a long iron or maybe a hybrid. Sure its not as glamorous, but it gets the job done and the point is the next shot not the drive. That’s management. Play for the next shot not the current shot. So many times we have a narrow focus that we make choices that are regrettable in the long run.

I’m sure you can come up with many reasons people do this, from a society that seems to promote instant gratification to lack of or bad parenting at an early age. I’m not so sure the cause is as important as the solution. We all must take time to think about the consequences of our actions and how they may affect others. I think the perfect example is the Charlie Sheen train wreck as of late. This poor guy just needs to take a step back and look and listen to his words and see that once those are out they can never be taken back. And to make matters worse think of all those poor people that have depended on his television show for money to support their families with. What are they to do now? Oh I’m sure they will find new jobs on other shows or on new shows coming out. I mean come on its not like TV shows don’t come and go!

I guess the point to all this dribble is I would like to teach my children to think before they act. I’m not so sure I’ve done a great job so far but he is only four and she is only 8 months old. I have plenty of time to make more mistakes!

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